"It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don't want to lose someone, even if they don't deserve our forgiveness."

Patrick and I "broke up" about a month and a half ago but it has felt like it never happened. We still say 'I love you' and 'I miss you baby'. We still use pet names when we talk to each other everyday, b/c oh yeah...we still talk to each other everyday. I love him, i do. Nothing is changing though. I have two options, I can be miserable for the next couple of years while he's at school, knowing we don't want the same things or i can move on. Both choices are hard and come with consequences. Alot of what has happened this year has been painful emotionally. A man I'm in love with, whom i believe does love me was capable of moving to the other side of the country and not look back once. That hurts like a stab to the heart. I know that if he had stayed things would have worked out. He says "well if we couldn't make it through something like this then it makes me wonder if we could make it through anything else.". There are people in this world that can do long distance relationships. I tried but i hate feeling abandoned and that's all i felt, constantly. My heart is consistently achy. I believe obstacle are placed in life and the paths we choose define how our life plays out. So, no we didn't survive him moving away. However, that does not mean we would not have worked out had he found a school closer to home or wanted me to be there with him. It's time for me to focus on myself and the people around me. He was by no means a waste of time. I learned alot from our relationship, we have so many awesome memories together. I can't finish this now...